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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30013110">Going Quiet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanadianSummer/pseuds/CanadianSummer'>CanadianSummer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grand Theft Auto IV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, Crimes &amp; Criminals, Deal Ending, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Mental Health Issues, Niko having a bad time, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Suicidal Thoughts, raising a child together as friends, this starts as angst and carries on as angst but has its moments, yeah Roman is dead I'm sorry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:33:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30013110</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanadianSummer/pseuds/CanadianSummer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Roman Bellic ended up dead on the sidewalk on his wedding day, shot by a bullet that wasn’t meant for him. After seeking his revenge for the murder of his cousin, Niko Bellic becomes increasingly despondent and closed off in the months that follow, either sleeping his days away or driving around aimlessly. However, Mallorie, Roman’s wife, is pregnant and needs him to fulfill his promise of support that he had given her. Carrying around the guilt and grief of his cousin’s death and having to support a child, Niko realizes he needs to leave a life that doesn’t seem intent on letting him go, or perhaps he never let go of it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mallorie Bardas/Roman Bellic, Niko Bellic &amp; Mallorie Bardas, Niko Bellic &amp; Roman's Son, mentioned Niko Bellic/Kate McReary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 2008</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>To those who are fans of Roman, like myself, I am very sorry. </p><p>Just a heads up for this chapter that it contains content that has suicidal thoughts, which I have tried to base off my own experience with clinical depression and I haven't tried to detail it too much but it's there. </p><p>Anyway, I have this fic completely planned out but it's now just writing and dividing up the chapters. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kate was gone now, too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had run over the phone call in his head several times, along with the email she had sent him detailing her reasons, but for some reason it took a couple of days before it sunk in fully. <em>I can’t raise a kid in this world without a father. You won’t change.</em> As the days passed in his grief, he was starting to believe she might be right. She was right. Niko had enough self-awareness that he knew what his lifestyle entailed, how it dragged in the people around him. As much as Roman had his own issues that had been well established before Niko joined him in America, he had been beaten and kidnapped enough times by people Niko had personally pissed off. He could recall the way his cousin had broken down in the car the day his old apartment and cab depot had been burned down, Niko carrying the guilt of that with him--expressed terribly, but something he had come to acknowledge all the same. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He just never thought Roman’s end might have been found by bleeding out on a sidewalk, a randomly shot bullet in a struggle that had been meant for Niko. On his fucking wedding day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If Kate ended up seeing the signs, Niko couldn’t blame her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Niko’s grief had consumed him, he knew that. There was a notable disconnect from the world, time stretching and dragging in such a way that he could never keep track of it. Some days it was just sleeping when his mind would get exhausted enough to allow him that, otherwise he would drive around in a blur--could recognize the places, saw faces but otherwise he was as empty as he always claimed to be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What was there for him, now? (<em>Plenty</em>, he would realize if he could pull himself out of his spiral that was honestly starting to disgust him a bit. The phone calls and messages he ignored spoke to that.) </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He honestly wasn’t sure when the thought had started to enter his head. Niko wasn’t a stranger to passing moments of drastic thought--he had them when he had been sitting back at home with his injuries after he had been released from the army, some while he had been at his lower points in Liberty City, and now recently with Roman’s death and the departure of friends sitting on his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something had been keeping him back, though. He couldn’t pinpoint it, felt like some invisible hand keeping hold to the back of his jacket to keep him from not just dropping off a bridge into the--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His phone was ringing again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ringtone and buzzing felt like someone suddenly shaking him awake, Niko taking in a breath as reality seemed to leak back into his consciousness. However, the ache behind his eyes and in his head told him that he hadn’t been asleep, not for the last day at least. So, sitting in his car likely wasn’t the best idea, but it was better than lingering about his apartment. Niko reached for the phone he had tossed into the empty passenger seat, tempted to just hang up but the name on the screen gave him some pause. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mallorie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Niko let out a breath through his nose, a touch agitated. More so about being disturbed and less so at Mallorie herself--shit, he knew she was grieving all the same, possibly more. Considering the news she had shared with him a while ago, he knew that was certain. Still, he let the phone ring a second time, staring down at it until his conscious stepped forward and he picked up on the third ring. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mallorie, hello.” His own voice sounded strange, even to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Niko, finally. I’ve been tryin’ to reach you for over an hour,” she replied, the relief in her voice surprising him a little bit. Had she been? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, I was sleeping.” Sitting upright in his car, engine off, and staring out of the windshield at the increasing rainfall outside. He could almost feel a touch of the cold that was leaking in without the heater on. Niko fought back a grimace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, well, I didn’t want to disturb you but I...I have a favor to ask and I guess we should talk in person. Think you can come see me today?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, he didn’t really want to see <em>anybody</em>--the current day, the previous. Niko’s brow furrowed somewhat in confusion, but deep down he had a feeling he knew what this might be about. They had given each other a bit of space over the weeks following Roman’s funeral, an event that Niko attended but felt like he was watching himself do so. Niko knew there had been a rush when they had hunted down Dimitri, watching the life leave that bastard’s body. Mallorie had called him, told him about the pregnancy and her and Roman’s plan to announce it at the wedding reception. Niko had given her a promise then, but he hadn’t accounted for how empty the aftermath would leave him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What help would he be, now? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still...Mallorie was family, and he knew he owed it to Roman to treat her as such. He owed that to his cousin at the very least. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” he replied after a beat, “Sure, I can see you. I will be there in an hour.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great. Thank you, Niko.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodbye.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he hung up, he noticed the notifications for the missed calls. One from her an hour ago, thirty minutes ago, and presumably the one he just got out of if he hadn’t have picked it up. He hadn’t heard his phone going off for any of those. There were also a couple of unread messages from people that he had been neglecting, Niko putting his phone away as he started the car up again. Immediately an ad from the radio quietly filled the silence of the car, the headlights shining on a gate behind a building facing the river. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared at it for a moment before putting the car in reverse and turning back out onto the street.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The weather in Liberty City had been changing, even the rain had a bite to it that made him a little uncomfortable as he stood outside. It did help somewhat in waking him up, at least, as much as he had been awake for far too long already. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though, thankfully Mallorie didn’t have him out in the rain for long, greeting him with a tight smile and invited him inside without her usual greeting. It was a little awkward, but a part of him was somewhat relieved that it didn’t feel like he was the only one struggling to go back to ‘normal’ after everything. The home was tidy, it looked a little untouched but...well, Niko’s own apartment almost didn’t look lived in outside of a few corners. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terrible weather,” she commented, earning a small huff from him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Somehow you look worse,” she continued, causing him to meet her gaze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was said with a certain degree of softness, concern. Niko’s knee-jerk reaction was to brush it off, but he knew he hadn’t really bothered to look in a mirror or take care of his appearance much over the last while. If the dark circles under his eyes didn’t speak for themselves. <em>What was the point?</em> </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do not worry about me, I am...I don’t know. Still dealing.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me, too,” Mallorie admitted, walking over to the kitchen table before sitting down. Niko hesitated a moment before moving to go join her, trying not to close in on himself because of how uncomfortable it was to see her again. Her screaming his cousin’s name and her sobs still haunted the corners of his mind, sometimes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“After the funeral, the days seemed to blend together,” she continued after a moment, looking down at her lap for a moment, “I wanted to reach out sooner, but…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would not have answered,” Niko stated bluntly, Mallorie glancing back up to give him an odd look. “I am...what is the phrase? <em>Zoning out?</em> Time passes and...I don’t know. I miss many calls.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Niko,” she started, her eyebrows furrowing in sympathy before she dropped her gaze again to study the table somewhat, “I guess I have been, too, but...I can’t ignore everything for too long. The morning sickness is starting to pick up and I guess...I have to move forward, even if I don’t want to.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know what you mean.” As much as Niko hadn’t exactly gotten to that point, himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I hate to ask, but...I have to go back to the doctor. I should go to the doctor. I can take myself, but...I don’t know, I feel like if I had someone driving, it might force me to go.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this the favor?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I’m not asking for you to go in with me, but...I don’t know, maybe that Kate--” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She…” Niko interrupted, catching onto what Mallorie was going to ask next, “We are not together anymore, she broke up with me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Oh, I’m so sorry, Niko. On top of everythin’...” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It is not her fault, she made her choice.” The <em>right</em> choice, a bitter voice reminded him. “If...if this is the favor you need of me, I can do it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah? I know you said you would support, but I don’t know if it was just...financially or…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything,” he replied, the conviction in his voice surprising him somewhat considering the doubt and a fair amount of dread that sat in his gut over Roman’s child. “I...I do not know how he would feel with me helping with his child, but I owe Roman that much at least. <em>Both</em> of you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Roman thought the world of you, Niko,” Mallorie replied as if stating a commonly known fact, “I knew about you long before I even met you, though I knew some stories were...exaggerated. <em>Idiota</em> wouldn’t shut up about you sometimes…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mallorie had a fond look in her eyes, letting out a small huff of a laugh before she seemed to catch herself, the look fading. Niko had caught a slight pull upwards to his lips, but it wasn’t enough to alter his expression much. Talking about Roman in terms of how he was, not what had been left of him...well, Niko didn’t know how to feel about it at the moment. Judging from the look on Mallorie’s face, perhaps she didn’t either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If there was anybody he wanted to be in this kid’s life, it’d be you,” she said, finishing her thought as she smiled softly at him. “He loved you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...I know.” After everything, though? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Still, if you’ll do this for me Niko, thank you. It means a lot.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Niko had been avoiding his email since he had read Kate’s. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew what would be in there. Kate’s email, an unopened one from his mother that he knew he would need to answer eventually, probably a couple of incomprehensible garbage emails--and Roman’s old ones. There was also a new one from Brucie. It wasn’t a question on where he was, how he was doing, why he wasn’t answering his phone--just another car. It was pretty typical for him, a flashy sports car that probably controlled like shit but was fast. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It caught his interest, despite it all. Niko’s reply had been quick, a simple line stating that he’ll get it for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew, in the back of his mind that he should stop doing shit like this--even if it was just stealing a car, which wasn’t great but was definitely a lesser evil compared to his list of crimes. Yet, for a moment, it seemed like everything had fallen into place almost perfectly. The owner of the car seemed to be chatting up a woman, girlfriend perhaps. He didn’t give a shit. The owner of the car also apparently didn’t give a shit, either, considering the car door was unlocked once he had snuck his way around to the driver’s seat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hotwiring the car after that was easy enough, the surprised and enraged shouts of the previous driver almost drowned out by the roar of the engine as he pressed his foot to the floor. The car took off down the road with a surprising amount of kick. As he expected, it was a little sensitive when at a great speed, but something kept him tearing down the road with it. For a few moments, Niko was completely free. He could see the cars in front of him, some irritating radio station blaring in his ears, the angry honking as he weaved between traffic. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time in weeks, he wasn’t stuck in some restless and numb place. His mind wasn’t on Roman, Mallorie, the baby, Kate, Brucie, the war--<em>nothing.</em> There was a warning in the back of his mind, though--<em>he might crash.</em> He was well away from the guy he stole the car from, he didn’t need to keep going like this. Going full speed down a crowded street, he <em>will</em> crash. Yet, for a few moments he didn’t care. He didn’t give <em>a fuck.</em> He could crash, he could not. He could die, he could live. He didn’t care if he died. He didn’t care if he lived. He didn’t care. Yet--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The tires screeched against the road as he shifted his foot off the gas and slammed on the break with the other, the car taking a moment to come to a complete stop as Niko was faced with a familiar street. The motion lurched him forward, the force making his stomach feel odd but it was enough for him to come back to reality for a moment. Niko let out a breath, waiting for his heart to stop hammering away for a second. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t <em>enjoying</em> this, he was being reckless. At least, that thought sat in the back of his mind. Still, the sound of another horn behind him almost made him jump, Niko turning to shout almost incomprehensible Serbian at the other driver in a voice that didn’t quite sound like his own. Yet, it undoubtedly was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><em>Whatever.</em> Brucie’s lockup. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Niko drove the rest of the way with his usual brand of reckless driving, trying to avoid damaging the car. He also tried not to look at the charred remains of a familiar cab depot as he drove by it, turning down a slope toward the street near the docks and down toward a familiar building. The metal gate opened upon his arrival, Niko parking the car inside the garage. He sat in the driver’s seat for a moment, collecting himself a moment before opening the door and stepping out. He was immediately met with the smell of oil and paint--and an all too familiar voice calling out toward him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“<em>Yo! Nicky!</em>” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He let out a small sigh through his nose, not turning to face him as he shut the door but he could admit to a sense of comfort to the familiarity of it all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Brucie.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There he is! Haven’t seen you in <em>weeks</em>, man! Avoidin’ my phone calls like I was a bad fuckin’ lay or somethin’.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m...I’m sorry. Had a lot on my mind, as I am sure you can imagine.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, look. I know. I know, man. We all...we’re all grieving Roman, I miss him almost daily but then you disappear off the face of the Earth?” Brucie explained, walking closer to him, “Me and you, we’re one of a kind, alright? I have to know you’re doin’ good.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I understand,” Niko replied, “I am fine, okay? I will be fine.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His little moment with the car a couple minutes ago said otherwise, but the only witnesses to that were himself and a small portion of the streets of Liberty City. Would probably think he was drunk and forget about it in a day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, man,” Brucie stated, some relief settling into Niko for him not pushing the issue as he stepped around him to look at the car, “and thank you for this! Man, I’m gonna have fun messin’ around with this baby.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, no problem…” Niko replied, looking over the car somewhat before Brucie handed him some cash. Taking his chance to leave, he gave Brucie another nod before turning to head back out toward the street. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” Brucie called out to him again, however, “You’ve seen me again. You don’t have to keep leavin’ me hanging!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I will try, Brucie,” Niko stated, giving him a nod and raise of his hand somewhat before he was allowed to leave the lockup in peace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he knew it was going to be an early morning with Mallorie, he needed to find a way back to his apartment and at least pretend for a few hours that he was going to be able to sleep that night. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 2008</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am probably going to have to add chapters to the existing number, I keep having to cut them in half because I keep writing more than I think I will. lol Still, thank you all for the interest in this story so far, hopefully this second chapter holds up to expectations. You don't know how long I agonized over what to name the kid.</p>
<p>Per usual, this is un-beta'd so mistakes may be present. </p>
<p>TW: the first segment mentions poverty, war, death, and illusions to child abuse.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he had been shamed enough for it.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> He gripped at his right hand as he walked, feeling his knuckles throb and a familiar pinching in his feet from shoes that were getting too small. Yet, he knew it would be a while before he could get another pair--before he would need another pair. Still, that was far from his mind, running over the news that his family had just received.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> His brother died, killed in action. Niko remembered the way his mother could barely get the words out--it was just him and her, now. Andrej was gone and their father had died years prior. Yet, they weren’t alone in that moment, Roman and Niko’s aunt showing up a while later. The cousins had watched on in silence as their mothers talked and mourned quietly at the kitchen table. Niko could remember Roman trying to say something to him a couple times, met with a distant silence as if it felt like Niko was still trying to figure out what happened.  </em>
</p>
<p><em> Yet, eventually the limit to that numbness had been reached. He couldn’t cry. Niko’s father had been dead for years, taken a drunken stumble and the corner of a stair had taken his life when it connected with his head. Yet, that familiar tingling behind his eyes made it feel like he was standing in the room. Just waiting, watching for that reaction so he could start on his insults and abuse. However, he could feel a familiar tension flood into him-- </em> <b> <em>’Don’t bother the youngest Bellic, he has a temper. Better to ask his brother or cousin.’ </em> </b></p>
<p>
  <em> Someone touched his back and Niko’s reaction had been immediate, whirling around and connecting a hard punch to a nose.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Roman had hit the floor with a pained yell, hands covering his face as Niko seemed to realize what happened. All there was panic for a moment, that tightness in his chest. Yet, the anger had settled in behind it very quickly--misplaced, but overpowering all the same.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “What do you want from me?” he shouted in Serbian, “Leave me alone!”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> His cousin just stared up at him before Niko heard his aunt rise from the table, rushing over to her son as Roman pulled himself to a stand.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “Niko, get out of here,” his mother stated, exhaustion sitting heavily in her tone but there was unmistakable anger there.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Niko paused, looking over at her before glancing toward Roman, who was wiping the blood from his face, lips pressed into a thin line as he refused to look at him. So, Niko did as he was told, disappearing into a room for a couple hours until guilt pushed him outside and down a familiar back road.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> They were neighbours, but walking between farms still took a while. Which certainly gave him enough time to let his mind run over his actions and push him toward that familiar house. After a while, he noticed the familiar figure sitting on the back stairs, still holding a rag to his nose--odd, he had left hours ago.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Still, Roman didn’t glance up as Niko made his way onto the property through the familiar broken fence. His cousin didn’t need to look to know who it was, there was only one person who showed up at the back of the house when he visited instead of going through the front. Eventually, however, he shifted his gaze to glance at him out of the corner of his eye as Niko stood a few steps from him.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “...I’m sorry, cousin,” Niko stated after a few moments, only to be met with silence before he started again. “</em>
  <b>
    <em>Roman</em>
  </b>
  <em>, I’m sorry.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I just...wanted to help,” Roman replied after a moment, somewhat congested as he pulled the cloth away from his face. Niko stared at the bruise forming around the bridge of his nose with a dropping sense of guilt and dread.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> Niko didn’t reply but walked over to sit beside him on the step, his cousin allowing him that much despite everything.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I don’t know what to do,” Niko replied, a strange sense of unease washing over him.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ...This wasn’t how this conversation went.  </em>
</p>
<p><em> “I know, that’s why you act like this,” Roman replied, Niko catching him gesturing somewhat with his hand out of the corner of his eye as he brought his hand up to his face again. “I love him, too, but I didn’t punch you. I don’t need </em> <b> <em>you</em> </b> <em> hurting me, too.”  </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “I’m sorry, Roman,” Niko repeated, still not quite bringing himself to look at him again as he shook his head. “I’m alone, now.” </em>
</p>
<p><em> “No, you’re </em><b><em>not.</em> </b> <em> You still have family. You have me, you’ll always have me.”  </em></p>
<p>
  <em> No, this wasn’t how this conversation went.  </em>
</p>
<p><em> That unsettling feeling hit him like a train, almost seemed to shock him and the moment as something seemed to shift. Niko was still himself--an angry teenager, bruised knuckles, and painful shoes. However, when he glanced over at Roman, he wasn’t the teenager he had just been talking to. The familiar clothing had changed and he had aged several years, dressed in a sharp suit as he sat there, a bloodied hand obscuring his face as he pressed it against his forehead, the other clutching the red stain that had formed on his chest. </em> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Liberty City morning had officially set in, making the city streets congested and slow. </p>
<p>Mallorie sat in the passenger seat as Niko tried not to get too frustrated at the drivers as he tried to find a lane to merge into that would get him to where he needed to go. Still, it was slow enough for him catch her fiddling with the little bundle of papers she had been given by the doctor--the result of an hour sitting around in the parking lot for Niko, trying not to dwell on what his mind had thrown at him during his first night of sleep in a couple days. </p>
<p>Mallorie kept grabbing a piece of dark paper, it looked like a photo of something. Going to pull it out before stopping herself--eventually, Niko got curious. </p>
<p>“What is that?” </p>
<p>“The ultrasound,” she replied, her tone somewhat light despite the hesitancy he had been watching for the last couple minutes, “They showed me on the computer, but…” </p>
<p>As traffic slowed to a stop again, she seemed to work up the nerve to pull the picture out to study it for a few moments. Niko wanted to look away, but she turned it toward him as an invitation after a moment. He...wasn’t too sure what he was looking at, though he could vaguely make out the shape of some sort of humanoid figure. The baby.</p>
<p>“There he is,” she said, letting out a soft huff as she pointed toward part of the being near the bottom of the semi-dark circle, “an arm, a leg.” </p>
<p>Niko could feel a sense of unease settle at seeing the image. It wasn’t over the child himself, no, but rather the quiet realization in the back of his mind. If things had went like how they were meant to, Roman would have been the one seeing this and not him. Wasn’t ever supposed to be <em> him </em>. His cousin would have called him with his usual excitement to talk about how he got to see his son, as small, alien, and strange as the ultrasound made him look. </p>
<p>“Everything is...healthy, then?” Niko asked, working past the tightness in his stomach. </p>
<p>“The doctor thinks so, yeah,” Mallorie replied, tucking the photo away, “Just have to be careful going forward.” </p>
<p>Niko hummed in agreement, not too sure what to say or ask. This baby was family, but Niko was acutely aware that he wasn’t his father and it was strange to be seeing this. To be the first to see him outside of Mallorie and the doctors. Yet, that was how it was. He knew deep down that he was happy that Roman and Mallorie had a son, but there was a hole now that Niko didn’t know if he should fill or let exist. He had caused it, he should take responsibility but...well, the whole situation was confusing. </p>
<p>Eventually the traffic seemed to break, allowing him to focus more on the road as he drove Mallorie back to her home. However, the silence wasn’t a long lasting one, Mallorie speaking up again as he turned down another road. </p>
<p>“Thank you again, Niko,” she said, “I don’t mean to keep sayin’ that, but I know this must be as strange and awkward for you as it is for me.” </p>
<p>“You do better than me at hiding it,” Niko commented, “I am...happy for you, that he is healthy.” </p>
<p>“I’m relieved. All the stress, I was scared…” she started, “This gives me some hope.” </p>
<p>“I’m glad.” </p>
<p>He was--for <em> her. </em> That she was able to find some hope in all of this, that she could move forward like she had mentioned to him the day before. Perhaps he should have felt something like that, too, seeing the picture of the baby and hearing that everything was fine. There would be a new Bellic in the world, but he still felt numb. He wasn’t as sluggish and exhausted as he had been the last couple days, as much as his sleep was plagued with memories and nightmares, or the strange mix of both that he had been subjected to the night before. Yet, he didn’t really feel all that better for it. </p>
<p>Try as he did for a while, sleeping wasn’t helping him settle this. Perhaps it never would. </p>
<p>Still, he could try to help with this situation at least, and would continue to do so as long as his involvement didn’t do any more damage. </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>The months continued to crawl on, the city getting colder as winter started to settle. </p>
<p>It had started as wet and dreary, the city eventually starting to see snowfall and darker days. The holiday season was approaching, at least the radios and television certainly weren’t going to allow him to forget that. <em> ‘It is a time for family. What better way to show that you love them by building on that pre-existing debt?’ </em> a cheery voice had asked from the radio to his half listening ears. Despite the supposed peacefulness and togetherness the season was supposed to advertise, Liberty City seemed to carry on like normal for Niko. If anything, there was a certain sense of desperation as the year was approaching a close. </p>
<p>He slowed his car to a stop as the car he had been tailing rolled to a stop out front of some apartment buildings, idling for a moment before shutting off. </p>
<p><em> “Hey, the way I see it, Eddie’s been taking food off my table for years by taking my money and never paying it back. I got some kids expectin’ presents in a couple weeks, you’ll be doing us a favor! I can make it worth your while.” </em> </p>
<p>It was always that last statement that had him getting involved in shit like this, otherwise it was not his problem. Niko knew he didn’t need the money, he had more than enough to not have to take up things like this from strangers who caught his eye from allies. Granted, the wealth of money he had been sitting on was stained with blood, his cousin’s only the recent addition. Yet, the familiar pull was hard to shake still. <em> (What else was he good at, anyway?) </em> </p>
<p>Fortunately enough, Eddie seemed rather easy to unsettle. He could carry this out before that voice in the back of his head talked him out of it. </p>
<p>A couple curious glances cast over his shoulder in the stairwell before Eddie was breaking out into that paranoid walk, Niko managing to catch the front door to his apartment against his shoulder before he could slam it shut behind him. Immediately, Eddie stepped back, hands raised as he let out a nervous chuckle. </p>
<p>“H-Hey, look, I think I know what this is about,” he said, rushing over his words as he backed further into his apartment, trying not to trip over his feet, “I was told it was an <em> open </em> thing, you know? No strings? Maybe you didn’t get that, so I can forgive this but I can’t be at fault for bad communication, man.” </p>
<p>The touch of confusion was hard to keep from his expression, but he managed to pull it back in as he advanced toward him. </p>
<p>“You owe <em> money</em>,” he stated, watching as Eddie’s expression dropped, his brow furrowing as he let out a huff. </p>
<p>“...What? Clancy’s still collecting on that? I thought we were friends but...well, I guess <em> not </em> if he’s got some fucking <em> Russian </em> knocking my door down.” </p>
<p>“Guess not.” <em> He wasn’t going to bother with the damn correction. </em> </p>
<p>“I have it,” Eddie stated, raising his hands at his sides somewhat, “Back table near the far right bedroom door, okay? Just don’t go...breaking things--or me.” </p>
<p>Niko remained where he stood, expression tight as he watched Eddie. The man across from him kept his hands raised, palms out. Placating, fingers shaking slightly. Still, Niko knew better than to let his guard down. He reached into his jacket to remove his pistol, a familiar weight that he didn’t really feel until he had it in his hands. The man across from him seemed to shrink at the sight, taking a step back as Niko moved forward. </p>
<p>It had shut him up, at least. </p>
<p>He approached the table Eddie had pointed out, pulling open a couple drawers as he dug through the contents roughly--papers, photos, a take-out menu. Thankfully, the second drawer he pulled apart produced the money he had mentioned, Niko taking the small bill stack. It was barely anything. </p>
<p>“That’s all,” Eddie stated, “I mean, I’m surprised he bothered.” </p>
<p>Yeah, Niko was too. What a <em> waste of fucking time </em> this was. Still, he raised his pistol as he moved back toward the door, which caused Eddie to back off from him, hands lifting again. </p>
<p>“C’mon, do I look like I have a weapon on me?” he asked, Niko pausing as he eyed him for a moment. He could see the slight shaking in his limbs, the pinched brows and darting eyes. He certainly didn’t look like he had much to guard or the means to guard it. </p>
<p>“No. Get one.” </p>
<p>Especially if Eddie’s supposed <em>friends </em>had people like him turning up at his doorstep. </p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Niko tried his best to shake off the agitation that had settled over the last couple of hours, the ache in his side and shoulder not helping much as he pulled up outside a familiar building. Eddie, in his panic over Niko’s approach, had revealed a surprising amount of strength behind him trying to slam the door on him. He knew there was going to be a bruise where the doorknob had jabbed him in the side. </p>
<p>Though, the physical aches weren’t as pressing on Niko’s patience as his encounter with the man he had been doing the work for. When he had returned the money to Clancy, he had been met with a particular grin. </p>
<p>
  <em> “Are you testing me?” Niko had asked, tone tight.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “No, little shit owed me money. I wasn’t lyin’ about that. I help my friends, but I’m not a fuckin’ doormat.”  </em>
</p>
<p><em> “Yes, you are </em> <b> <em>very</em> </b> <em> generous person.”  </em></p>
<p>
  <em> “You also follow instructions very well.”  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “I am not your fucking loan shark.”  </em>
</p>
<p><em> “Which is a shame, you seem to have a callin’ for this type of stuff.” </em> </p>
<p>His hand came up to rub at his forehead, letting out a sigh through his nose. Admittedly, a part of him almost wanted to relish in the irritation, the anger. At least it was something inside the sense of numbness that had only deepened after Roman’s death. That or a particular sense of dread. Anything was better than that, he supposed, yet Kate’s warning in her phonecall after she had heard of his cousin’s death lingered in the back of his mind. </p>
<p>Anger, <em> his </em> anger, wasn’t good. Not when it consumed him like it was prone to do. Niko knew that, yet what else was there? Even as a kid he had prone to that, as much as he had learned to pull it in as he aged. Train his expressions, his reactions to certain things. </p>
<p><em> ...Whatever</em>--it was a juvenile response, regardless of what language he expressed it in. Yet, Niko knew he needed to move on from this. For the moment, at least. </p>
<p>Mallorie didn’t need him showing up in her home, bitter and tense with the need to fight that had lingered after Clancy’s parting remark. It didn’t matter, he wouldn’t see that little asshole again in a city this big. At least, he hoped. </p>
<p>Really, he wasn’t sure how this evening would go. Mallorie had been showing him a kindness, letting him eat with her every couple weeks, sometimes sooner. A part of him wondered if she was trying to check up on him as much as he used that to do the same with her and the baby. Admittedly, there was a bit of comfort there. Niko had other friends he could mention things to, but Mallorie offered different conversations and perspectives sometimes. </p>
<p>Plus, he did wonder about the baby. He knew his mother was starting to press about the subject in her emails after Niko had managed to work up a response to her email in response to hearing of what happened to Roman. A part of him wished he had more comforting answers, but he felt somewhat lost. </p>
<p>Well, he was. In more ways than one, if he wanted to be honest with himself. </p>
<p>Still, it wasn’t a thought he wanted to follow down too much as he knocked on Mallorie’s front door, his invite in a faint call from inside the home. Niko paused a moment before opening the door, stomping the slush from his shoes before walking in to see Mallorie sitting at the table. She had a hand resting under her chin, another rubbing her now swollen stomach. She looked tired but still offered him a small grin. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to keep knockin’, by the way,” she said as he paused by the small kitchen island, “You’re always welcome here.” </p>
<p>“Sure--uh, thank you.” </p>
<p>Niko glanced around himself a moment, the kitchen seemed relatively untouched and Mallorie seemed exhausted and quiet. Yet, she seemed to catch his wandering gaze as she reached out to lift up a menu that sat on the table. The writing and logo along the top, it was the same one Niko had shoved aside while collecting Eddie’s debt barely an hour prior. </p>
<p>“I ordered pizza,” she replied, sounding almost sheepish, “I don’t know what you like, but I can’t seem to cook anything today that doesn’t make me feel sick. I’m hoping he isn’t this picky about food once he’s born.” </p>
<p>“I am sorry to hear that. I will eat whatever, though.” </p>
<p>“I know,” she replied with some mild humor, “You and Roman have that in common.” </p>
<p><em> Had. </em> Though, growing up like they did, Niko had learned to take what he could and it was something he carried with him into adulthood. However, he bit his tongue, knowing that was probably too much of a comment for what the conversation was. </p>
<p>A silence lingered after her comment for a few moments. It was a touch awkward, not like it had been the first couple times he had done this over the last couple months, but it felt like there was a question or comment coming. Eventually, his feeling was proven right when Mallorie shifted up to rest her hands in her lap, glancing his way. </p>
<p>“I have been thinking and...I know I need to name him. I always thought...thought Roman would be around to help, but that’s not the situation. I just don’t know what he would have liked. We never talked about it.” </p>
<p>“I think Roman would have liked whatever you pick.” </p>
<p>“I know, but I guess...well, you know how he thinks…” </p>
<p>
  <em> When he was still around, yes. Somewhat. </em>
</p>
<p>“Roman and I never talked about children. Well, maybe in passing, but never like this.” </p>
<p>“Right,” Mallorie replied, a sense of resignation in her tone that wasn’t hard to miss. </p>
<p>A voice in the back of his head questioned if this was even his place--maybe it wasn’t. Really, maybe this whole situation wasn’t his place, yet he knew Roman would have been pissed if Niko left her and his son out on their own. This, though? He didn’t know. Still, it didn’t stop a passing thought from crossing his mind, one that put a notable tension in him. It...well, it was a nice thought, but…</p>
<p>Still, despite the conflict in his mind, as Mallorie’s silence stretched on, Niko found his voice again regardless. </p>
<p>“I had an older brother…” he started, the words heavy and strange on his tongue, “He...he died when Roman and I were still young.” The string of events that stemmed from his death wasn’t something Niko wanted to get into. “We don’t talk about him much--didn’t, but I know he loved him as much as he did me. His name was Andrej.” </p>
<p>Mallorie seemed to think that over somewhat, a part of Niko glad she didn’t press into the story behind it and got his intention in bringing it up. </p>
<p>“...Andre?” she asked after a moment, almost into the open air but Niko gave her a soft shrug in response anyway. </p>
<p>“It is your choice. You wanted a suggestion.” </p>
<p>“I did, thank you. I like that.” </p>
<p>Niko just gave another nod in response--though, admittedly there was a bit of warmth to the somewhat choking feeling in his chest. He wasn’t sure how Roman would have named his child, and he never would, yet Niko felt that seemed reasonable. In a way. His feelings on the matter weren’t important, anyway. He was just the kid’s second cousin. </p>
<p>Though, seeing the thoughtfulness in Mallorie’s expression, that exhaustion lifting in her expression somewhat, maybe he had said the right thing. </p>
<p>Still, he just wanted that pizza to get there so they could move on from that conversation and he could lay the rest of his day to rest, feeling the throbbing of the bruise against his side as he sat with his arms against the counter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 2008-2009</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the wait on this one, life has been pretty busy for me as of late. Also, I struggled with this chapter so I'm not 100% on it, but I'm tired of wrestling with it. lol </p>
<p>As always, this is un-beta'd so there may be some mistakes!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Niko didn’t hate hospitals, not really. </p>
<p>He had found out somewhat early on during his arrival on American soil that if you had enough money, some hospitals were willing to look the other way in regards to how he got injured. It was better than haphazardly trying to fix himself up with whatever first aid he could remember, hunched over his cousin’s bathtub in his dirty apartment. Really, the thought was an odd one to sit on his mind in the moment, both feeling like a lifetime ago and one that had yet to even pass in some aspects. </p>
<p>His cousin was gone, and it was an absence that was sorely felt in the moment. Little Andre was a couple hours into his entrance into the world and all he had was his mother and his second cousin. Perhaps his father was there, in spirit, if Niko felt inclined to believe in such things. </p>
<p>It was a nice thought in regards to other people, but it meant he would have to apply to it himself and that was where it got complicated. </p>
<p>Still, it was an uncomfortable thought to have in an empty waiting room in the middle of the night. </p>
<p>Mallorie had insisted that she would be fine with just the nurses, didn’t want him feeling obligated to be in there with her when the time came. It didn’t stop him from feeling both guilty and awkward about it at the same time. She never should have to go through this alone, but she had seemed so sure of it and Niko respected her wishes. Still, she wanted him to be one of the first people to meet the baby, and given how distant her family and friends had been with the whole ordeal, Niko suspected that he would be regardless. </p>
<p>Roman should have been there, been the one to deal with the parental panic and have Niko talk some sense into him instead of whatever this was. Really, it felt like the hours went by in a blur since Mallorie had shaken him awake from where he had been laying on her couch, that small, distressed smile on her face as she told him they would need to be at the hospital soon. He had found himself sleeping there as Andre’s due date came and passed by about a week, Niko not too sure what that had meant but it seemed the moment they’d been waiting for finally fell into place. </p>
<p>Really, he wasn’t too sure what great help he was, especially once Mallorie’s pain had been at its worst once she was placed in the hands of the nurses. </p>
<p>Still, the 3 am waiting room was a bit of a comfort at the very least, given how empty it was. Didn’t have to pull in his nervousness, as much as he spent most of his time staring holes into the floor or leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed, thinking himself to death. Yet, when it felt like his time in that room was stretching on into endlessness, the double doors to one of the wings of the hospital opened. Niko opened his eyes, turning to watch as an exhausted nurse approached him. </p>
<p>“You with Mallorie Bardas?” she asked quietly, despite the empty waiting room outside of himself a couple people at the front desk. </p>
<p>“Yes.” </p>
<p>“You can come see mom and the baby if you wish,” she replied, letting out a small sigh, “It’s not visiting hours and we usually only give such leniency to the parents of the baby, but she has been insistent.” </p>
<p><em>How generous of them.</em> </p>
<p>Still, despite the somewhat tightness to his brow at her words, Niko stood to follow her into the wing when she turned to lead him back. The hospital itself was quiet aside from the odd machinery and conversation between nurses and doctors, the woman ahead of him only talking to him to get his name so she could log his visitation before leading him down toward Mallorie’s room. </p>
<p>“Here we are,” the nurse said as she opened the door, speaking softly but the sternness to her voice was hard to miss as she turned to Mallorie in the bed, “Though, you and the baby should be resting soon, so we should be keeping this short.” </p>
<p>“Yes, I understand,” Mallorie said in a tone that made Niko feel like there was already some existing tension there, turning somewhat as the nurse stepped out to shut the door behind her. </p>
<p>“God, I’m startin’ to hate her…” Mallorie muttered, “Andre’s barely had his first couple breaths of air and she’s already acting like we should be moving on.” </p>
<p>“She has been...very welcoming,” Niko returned, watching as Mallorie returned her attention back toward the swaddled baby in her arms. He could only see the blanket he was wrapped in from where he was standing, but the particular grin on Mallorie’s face was hard to miss. </p>
<p>He should be happy, too, shouldn’t he? Relieved? Excited? Really, Niko wasn’t too sure what to make of the feeling that sat in his gut other than the fact that it was feeding the tension that had flooded into him as soon as Mallorie had started to double over with contractions. Frustrated, too. He hated being so in his own head, as much as he had spent quite some time in there after Roman had been killed. Even before then, too, he supposed. </p>
<p>A new member of his family had just been birthed, and all he could really do was grasp onto whatever thought that would keep that familiar feeling away. The one that seemed to shove him out of his own body, forced him into just watching on. </p>
<p>“You gonna come meet him?” Mallorie asked after a few moments, her voice pulling him back into the moment as she seemed to regard him carefully. It wasn’t said in an insistent way, Niko knew that if anybody who knew how strange this situation was, it would be her. </p>
<p>“He’s got no teeth yet so he’s not going to bite,” she continued with some light humour, which seemed to register a little better within him as Niko let out a small huff through his nose. </p>
<p>Really, he had to fight back a grimace about how awkward he was being about this. Still, he finally moved forward to approach the bed, coming to stand nearby so he could peer down at the newborn. He...certainly was a baby. Andre had his eyes closed, only moving slightly in his sleep but otherwise he looked peaceful at least. Niko could already see some familiar dark hair on his head, a familiarity to his features that put an odd feeling in his chest. </p>
<p>It was warm, yet almost hard to acknowledge at the same time. Still, despite that, neither of them remarked on it. </p>
<p>“Wish you could open your eyes so you can see your cousin,” Mallorie said to the baby after a moment. </p>
<p>“He’ll get sick of seeing me eventually, I’m sure,” Niko replied, earning a small chuckle from her. </p>
<p>“If you need to go home and get some rest, you should,” she said after a moment, glancing up at him, “I appreciated you staying. Really.” </p>
<p>“Of course, Mal,” he replied, “Though, it would be hard to leave after struggling to help you into the hospital alone.” </p>
<p>“I’ve been tryin’ to forget,” Mallorie replied, gesturing toward a cart behind him that had a small plastic basket with a blanket inside, Niko shifting to push it toward her so she could place Andre inside. </p>
<p>Despite the conflicting feeling in him, seeing Andre laying there did put some comfort in him. That he was alive and well. Though, it also meant that he would have to stop referring to him as a concept in his mind, Niko letting out a breath through his nose before Niko reached out to adjust the blanket around his head as the nurse from before poked her head in to remind them that time was up. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Andre’s growth from a newborn into a baby had been a bit of an ordeal at points. </p>
<p>His first fever had been a dramatic affair, a lot of crying that Mallorie took in stride. Really, she had tried to handle it on her own for so long that Niko didn’t really know what was happening until the doctor’s visit was out of the way and Andre was already being treated with some medicine. Really, it wasn’t hard to feel bad for the feverish and miserable baby she bounced and carried around the house at points, though Mallorie seemed to take it out on herself one night. </p>
<p>
  <em>“If anything happens to this baby, I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she admitted one as the medicine allowed Andre to rest his head against one of her shoulders as she paused in her pacing, the exhaustion heavy in her tone but there was a notable tremor to her voice. </em>
</p>
<p><em>“Nothing is going to happen to him,” Niko reassured, “The...the medicine is working, his fever will break soon.”</em> </p>
<p>She looked like she wanted to say more, pressing her lips into a thin line but otherwise just nodded softly before carrying her son into his bedroom to lay him down. Mallorie didn’t comment on the whole ordeal any further, but Niko’s mind seemed to fill in the gaps somewhat. Given he still spent his days doing odd jobs for Little Jacob and Brucie when he was able, along with some people who didn’t ask too many questions or ask too much of him, he certainly wasn’t the one carrying around a sick baby all day. </p>
<p>Again, it wasn’t like he needed the extra money. </p>
<p>There was a self-imposed sense of guilt and obligation, but Niko also knew that with Roman in a graveyard in the city and his mother across the ocean, this was also his family. So, he did find himself offering to spend a couple hours during the day taking care of him so Mallorie could sleep. She had seemed a little reluctant to do so at first, but it was apparent that she needed some help. </p>
<p>Someone was missing, but neither really had wanted to say anything. </p>
<p>It took some time for Andre to get used to Niko, as much as his fever made him uncomfortable in general until it broke after a day. Still, it was clear Mallorie needed the rest and it gave him the chance to bond with the kid, who he had admittedly been more distant with than he liked to think he was. It was hard to feel like he could spend time with him, Niko living a lifestyle that made him feel odd to come see him at the end of some of his days and act like cuddling a baby didn’t make him feel out of place. </p>
<p>Yet, that afternoon after his fever broke, it seemed to allow Andre to at least have some idea of what was going on around him. He lay him across his lap, his hand wrapped around some of his fingers as Niko gently tried to keep him from chewing on them, staring up at him like he was seeing him for the first time. </p>
<p>Though, the look that crossed Mallorie’s face when she came out to see them like that made it seem like it was the first time she smiled that week. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>“This one is his favorite?” </p>
<p>Niko gestured toward the plush rattling toy with a rubber handle, Mallorie giving him a nod as she shouldered on her jacket. Honestly, as much as it wasn’t his first time doing so, it had been a while since Niko was left alone with Andre. So, there was a touch of nervousness there, the baby in question staring at him with dark eyes as if waiting for him to hand over his favorite toy. Which he promptly started chewing on once Niko had done so. </p>
<p>“Though,” Mallorie said, pausing as she gestured toward Andre a moment, “That’s the calm before the storm. Once he really starts teethin’, I think that fever he had a while back might seem like a walk in the park.” </p>
<p>“Can’t wait…” </p>
<p>She raised an eyebrow at the sarcasm for a moment before she stooped to kiss Andre on the head, muttering a quiet goodbye to him as she shook the rattle a bit before stepping away, much to the short, distressed sound Andre let out. </p>
<p>“Shouldn’t be more than a couple hours,” she said, turning toward Niko, “I don’t mean to use you as some glorified babysitter, but…” </p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it,” Niko replied. Andre was his cousin, as much as it felt like he was just a glorified toy bringer to him at the moment. It was better than ‘stranger-to-cry-at.’ </p>
<p>Still, despite the apparent distress at his mother leaving, Andre seemed to shift his attention back to gnawing on his toy as Niko tried to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do with a baby for a couple hours that wasn’t making sure he didn’t choke on anything or letting him nap on him. Though, he didn’t get to think on that too long before he heard his phone start ringing. It caused the baby across from him to stare at him with renewed interest at the sound, Niko trying not to sigh in irritation at the idea of someone calling him to go drinking or something. </p>
<p>Though, seeing Bernie’s name flash onto the screen was a little surprising. He hadn’t talked to him since Roman’s funeral and his period of isolation that followed. It seemed like he had been giving him space, but Niko had been seeing some other friends again after that so the touch of guilt that settled in him was hard to shove aside. </p>
<p>“Bernie--” he started after he answered the call, bringing the phone to his ear. </p>
<p>“So he <em>does</em> live!” Bernie answered, a little more chipper than Niko had been expecting, “I thought I would get an answering machine.”</p>
<p>“I know. <em>Izvini.</em> I have been...very busy.” </p>
<p>“I know, sweetie,” Bernie replied, “I wanted to respect whatever space you might have needed after what happened with Roman, but now I’m hearing about Mallorie having a <em>baby</em> and that you’ve been helping? Why am I never told these things?” </p>
<p>“I didn’t know you wanted to know,” Niko answered, sounding vaguely defensive. </p>
<p>It wasn’t like he felt he could go wander out into the streets of Liberty City and hold his newborn cousin over his head as a means to inform everybody. <em>Here he is.</em> He had no idea how involved he should even be in the baby’s life, even now. </p>
<p>“I’m your friend, of course I want to know,” Bernie answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Maybe it was. </p>
<p>“Well, now you know,” Niko replied, letting out a small sigh, “His name is Andre.” </p>
<p>“Was that so hard?” Bernie asked, Niko’s brow furrowing slightly at the quip but brushed it off, glancing toward Andre who seemed to be more interested in his toy than what was happening. “He sounds lovely,” Bernie continued, “I haven’t heard from you in forever, we need to hang out together or something.” </p>
<p>“Well, I am busy watching said baby right now,” Niko replied, mostly as a means to prompt a change in time, but the way Bernie’s tone perked up suggested the opposite. </p>
<p>“Really? Well, I’d been thinking I wouldn’t get to meet him!” </p>
<p>“I don’t know if it is good idea to take him outside right now,” Niko replied, the words sounding more like an excuse for the fact that he wasn’t sure if Mallorie wanted him out with her baby. Though, the fear didn’t quite make sense in his head. </p>
<p>“Just an idea, Niko. I didn’t want to take up your day, anyway.” </p>
<p>Andre let out a small noise, apparently growing fussy at the lack of attention as Niko reached over to shake his toy a little. Really, the idea of getting out and seeing Bernie didn’t sound like a terrible time, as much as he was hesitant to do so with Andre. </p>
<p>Still, he had seemed fine enough all morning, or so Mallorie had told him. It wouldn’t be all day.</p>
<p>“...Give me an hour or two, I don’t know if he’s up for driving.”</p>
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